If I Only Had 4 Sentences to Describe Twilight (the movie)

Twilight is a 122 minute lusty sex scene without nudity so that no one realizes that they are actually watching an 122 minute epic on lust.  

I wasn't sure I'd be able to control my dry heaves after Belle spoke breathlessly for the 265th time. 

There's a 100 year old vampire in love with a teenager...it doesn't get much creepier than that.

Other than that it's gripping.